Sing it 'Just go to the... Y.M.C.A'!

Guess what?! We FINALLY heard back from the YMCA about membership! Today we went, filled everything out and we are now officially members! I'm so excited and appreciative that they are discounting the monthly rate to something we can afford while Jay is in school.

So let's get real. I've been making excuses to myself lots tons these past few weeks (okay make it for more then a few weeks, more like years). BUT I'd never change the journey. I've been through this journey before and excuse making almost ALWAYS comes with the journey, or at least mine lol. Trust me it'd be a whole lot ton easier to just skip the excuses part of the journey. Along with the hitting the brick walls, going up some tough mountains and falling a few times. I liken a lot of life's journeys to hiking a mountain. It's not (most the time) easy, but the top is always spectacular and worth the rough terrain. I find that sometimes the harder hikes have more beautiful views. To me lots of life journeys are like a hike. The tougher ones have a more rewarding end result. I can't control the terrain of my journey but I can choose to keep going (having encouragement from those you love is very important too). I want YOU reading this blog to know some of the bad/horrible parts of my journey. I want you to know it isn't easy, sometimes can be downright depressing and can take you some dark places emotionally... but the end result and looking back at the trek is a very rewarding life experience. Okay so enough of the metaphors!

Today, since we finally have gym membership, I went to a zumba class! I tried to talk myself out of it a few times but I refused to listen to my excuses and went. :) Overall it went good, it definitely made me realize how out of shape I am but I'm glad I went. It's crazy though since when I was on my weight loss journey after having Calvyn (baby number two) we had a gym membership at the Y and after working out for a month or two then started doing the zumba classes. Definitely felt surreal though, I felt as if I went back in time and was now re-living my past. Anyway I need to get the youngest bubba to bed. I will (sometime this week) measure, weigh and take pictures of myself for my 'before' stats. Night all!

Being Honest

So right now we are waiting to hear back from the YMCA on gym membership. My husband is in school and the Y has an awesome program to help those in need get a membership.

So since working out at a gym is on the back burner for me, I decided I'd stop making excuses and start choosing healthy foods. I'm not good at holding myself accountable when it comes to food. I've made food into something it should not be... an emotional comfort and something to look forward to. Just for fun lets look at what my 'normal' day of food is like...

Breakfast
  Coffee (the kind with good ole' syrup, milk in it and whipped cream on top of course)
  Butter Croissant
Lunch
  Sandwich or frozen burrito
Afternoon Snack
  Chocolate chips (probably two handfuls)
Dinner
  Pizza (we have this at least once a week)
Dessert
  Strawberry sorbet

Yikes, eh! Some days aren't this bad but I wanted to give you an example of how my 'bad' days are. So to hold myself more accountable I decided I'd post pictures of what I ate today. (the calorie totals came from the Calorie Count website)...

Breakfast
  No coffee people, just plain ole' water! Still went for something 'sugary' but it's still progress. 160 calories...

Lunch

A salad with a red wine olive oil vinaigrette dressing, carrots and cashews. 372 Calories...

 

 

For a minute I have flashbacks as to why I always give up till after baby is a year! My milk output today is at least an 1.5oz less. Normally this bottle is full to the very tippy top. But instead of 'quitting' I'm just going to alter what I eat for breakfast tomorrow, maybe have toast and oatmeal.

Snack 
  LaraBar (ingredients for those curious are dates, peanuts and seasalt). 220 calories...

Dinner
  Homemade Chicken Pot Pie (super nummy and not very low fat but it at least has lots of organic veggies) I  will post a picture after dinner :O) 484 calories

I will update you all when I get word from the Y. I will be posting my measurements and 1st goal in that post as well. Till then!

Let's sit in a circle and have Story Time!

Do you remember the good ole' days in elementary where you had 'story time'. The teacher would read a book, while some kids listened others would giggle and poke one another. If you all were here in person I'd make you all sit in a circle while we all shared our stories :P. Alas, since we are not in a room together, let's just imagine we are all sitting in a circle in a pretty room (whatever your vision of pretty is) and sharing our stories. I will warn you now, my story is not going to be a short one! Grab yourself a drink and snack.

Also, If you'd like to share your own story (if you have a blog) write one and share the link to it (below in the comments) I'd love to read it! Here is mine...

I was 21 and thin, but far from healthy ...eh at least not in my own opinion. This was me at that time...

I would eat whatever my heart desired, in whatever quantity, although I'd take mental note and eat less the next day if I decided to shovel my face for a day. I had bad food habits, but they were the only normal I new.

Side note: Let's get even more truthful and personal... when I was a Sophomore, I had decided to not eat for a week. It proved to be harder then I thought. But I kept it at one piece of toast a day. I had a cheerleader during this time, but eventually realized that what I was doing was very unhealthy. I went back to eating slowly, as a week alone of denying nutrients and food wreaked havoc on my body. This is a very real disease, it still affects me to this day. I see my body entirely different then anyone else, literally. Sometimes, I'll be overweight but look at myself in the mirror and think 'ohh, I look fine' it can also be very opposite then that at times too. I'll look at myself and think I'm morbidly obese. When I see a picture though of myself I'm usually confronted with the truth, whatever it may really be. I'm sure this makes no sense to some people. But for those that have been through a eating disorder whey will most definitely relate.

Okay back onto the story... I got pregnant at 21 with my first son. During my pregnancy with him I ate and ate some more and then ate a lot more. I started my pregnancy at 122lbs and ended at 180lbs. At 5'6" 180lbs is quite a bit. But I lost 20lbs right away after delivering him. I gained 58lbs total during his pregnancy. I tried breastfeeding him but without having educated myself, I ended up quitting when I went back to work (4 weeks). This little detail is important later in my story. I started working out at 8 weeks postpartum as well as cut back on how much I ate. By the time my first son was a year old I had gotten down to 130lbs. Sorry I don't have better photos of this weight loss journey...

5 months post-partum

At 1st Birthday

My husband and I got married in 2008, prior to the wedding, while planning I GAINED weight! Yup, due to the stress of planning I handled the stress how I've always handled it... by eating! By my wedding I was up to 145lbs.

 

This fact is important because I got pregnant right after our wedding, with our second son, baby number two. This pregnancy was no different from the first. I ate to my hearts content, but not with wholesome foods. I started off that pregnancy at 145lbs and ended it at 210lbs (YIKES), yes that is right, I gained a total of 65lbs. Now another added fact my first son was 9lbs at birth, my second son was only 7lbs15oz at birth. Having him I lost 20lbs, and ended up at 190lbs. 

A scary reality for me when I saw this photo. My second son was 10 months here.

I needed to at least lose 45lbs to get back to what I was at my wedding, or 68 to get to what I was prior to having my first son. It was scary for me to say the least. To make things more interesting this time I was adamant on breastfeeding for at least one year. Hence my detail about breastfeeding above. I tried to exercise during that first year, like I had with my first son. But it was proving to be extremely hard, I was facing issues already with my milk supply being low. When I would work out it'd damper my milk supply even more. I tried losing by just altering my diet. If I went to extreme it would also affect my milk output. I was fairly happy for awhile though. I never once considered myself to be a ugly fat girl. I had no self-esteem issues, that is until I was told by a loved one that I wasn't attractive anymore. It hit me hard, but at the same time, it woke me up to reality. I became serious from that point on and really tried. But this was prior to the one year mark of having my second son. It was tough and I became depressed a lot because as I said above I'd try things and all they would do is hurt my milk output. To make things worse my son was small, I felt so guilty like I wasn't making enough milk for him to grow. We had taken him to the pediatrician and to a specialist to make sure it wasn't anything serious. Fortunately it wasn't, he still today is my small guy. When he turned a year I didn't quit breastfeeding but I did supplement with milk while I was at work. He demanded less from me because he was eating more solid food, getting whole goats milk and getting my breast-milk. All this put so much pressure off myself to make 'enough' breast-milk. I started working out more often and started to watch my calories. It took another year (by the time he hit two) to get down to 150lbs, so close to what I weighed prior to getting pregnant with him. 

Front Before

Side Before

Back Before

Side After (1 year mark)

Front After

Back After

By the time he was a little over two, we got hit with a big surprise. We were pregnant AGAIN! It took me awhile to feel excited as I hadn't gotten to my goal weight, which I wanted to hit before having another. This time around I did NOT eat to my hearts content. I started the pregnancy at about 155lbs and ended it at 205lbs, 50lbs, this made me proud but it was also disheartening. While I gained less then my other two pregnancies, I had started out at a bigger weight so I still ended up at almost the same weight as my 2nd pregnancy. I once again lost 20lbs after having my third son. 

6 weeks pregnant w/#3

40 weeks pregnant

Right after having baby #3

1 week post partum

Our third son is now 7 months, we are quickly approaching that one year mark. I definitely had some fears this time around that I'd have the same milk supply issues. But they haven't been as bad this time around. Also, he has been growing just fine. I've tried a few times to lose weight. I had a 6 week gym membership I bought and did very well going at least 3 times a week. But after the membership was over we didn't have the money to renew it. So here I am, ready to do whatever I can to get back on the right path again. I have definitely been down this road before. It's definitely at times can be disheartening and I do get discouraged. But I still know that I can do it! I've done it not only once but twice! Now I'm gonna do it for the third time!  :) 

Ready, set, type! Oh and JUMP!

Let's just jump into this, shall you hold my hand while we jump in together? It makes me feel less lonely, that is if someone is there to jump with me. Anyone?! Pawease (as my 3 year old pronounces it) jump with me. Okay okay...
So before you jump with me you might have some questions. Like 'Uhm, just what exactly will I be jumping into?'. I promise this blog post is meant to answer those questions :) So without further ado, here might be some questions you have...

What the heck are we jumping into?!

Yes, very good question. We are jumping into an imaginary pool (well maybe not an imaginary one eventually) that makes us a more healthy version of who we are! But alas, this pool is a long one I must warn, the water can also get murky and may have waves that will be tough to get through. But I promise when you reach the end it'll be the most rewarding feeling (or the second most if you've had the pleasure of having children) you've ever experienced!

Do I have to diet if I jump into this pool?

Nope, I have never had success with dieting. But you will have to think about what you putting into your body for fuel and whether that food is really a sustainable fuel.

Will I need to workout?

Absolutely and unfortunately yes! While it's not always 'fun' to workout the feeling you have after and the benefits make it very worth it... trust me!

Will I ever get to eat ice cream, chocolate, etc. again?!

Yes, everything in moderation is okay in my book! If you deny yourself you can end up binge eating, which is not good. I find I'm more successful in being healthy and losing weight by not denying certain foods I love, but we do have to limit them.

So why would I want to do this?

Even if you don't want to lose weight, eating healthy and being fit is very crucial to living a long healthy life. Do you have depression... yup exercise can help that! Do you have a bad back that hurts... yes sometimes exercises can help that! If you do need to lose weight like myself, whatever the amount be then exercise is the most effective way to lose it and KEEP it off. Yup, key word KEEP. :)

So when do we jump?

If you are reading this and it's the week of this blog post, not yet! We'll be jumping in next week. If your reading this and it's a week or more from this date, YES you must jump now and if you need someone to hold your hand I can get out and hold your hand while we jump in together :) In other words, if you scared to do this, drop me a line, I can be very convincing and helpful.


So I think that's most of the big questions. If you have any that I haven't answered, feel free to post them below in the comments. I will be doing a blog post at the very least once a week. Next week I'll be talking a bit about my weight loss journey's (yes plural) and why I'm back on the road again to lose weight. Stay tuned!